It Ain't Over

Kay Ebeling

1 hr · 

the survivor movement may have fizzled away with last year's Oscars but God Is Still Really Pissed about the pedophile priests, so this ain't the end of the story.

Priest suing SNAP looks like bad guy in Man in High Castle

I do not know the story behind the reverend’s charges, but have to point out: The priest who is suing SNAP looks an awful lot like Inspector Kido on The Man in the High Castle series by Amazon Studios.

Inspector Kido

Rev. Xiu Hui Jiang

I'm just saying. . . 

Kido played by Joel de la Fuente is one of The Scariest and Most Effective Antagonists I've seen in a while, and I keep rewatching episodes just to see de la Fuente’s performance, so when I saw Jiang's photo, the resemblance Jumped Out at me. 

As to SNAP, I haven't believed anything that's come from them in ages, but always think it’s funny when they claim other organizations are too secretive. . .  

Here is one of few news articles on the Rev. Jo Jiang's lawsuit against Survivors Network of those Abused by Priests from St. Louis Post Dispatch:

Priest asks for sanctions against group withholding information about accusers

"SNAP had until July 22 to comply with the order, which also required turning over all records of donations attorneys for SNAP have made to the organization. The order said federal law does not guarantee privacy in the production of pre-trial evidence."

Hmm. 
A lot of us would like to know where SNAP gets its money as I bet it would be a big surprise for everyone to find out who is really pulling their strings. 

Posted by Kay Ebeling, Producer

City of Angels Blog

Not just L.A., the city of angels is everywhere

Justice Interruptus: Not Forgotten never will be

The bishops should have been prosecuted in Federal Courts across the land for the pedophile priests they let loose on America. Instead worst they experienced was a little niggling irritation from a handful of protesters right outside their door. That was It.

Kay Ebeling

9 mins · 

Justice Interruptus: at this point I can't even read a story about the pedophile priests or the bishops who aided and abetted them. It triggers PTSD effects that mess with everything else in my life. I Am So Pissed, and probably will always be, by the way the "survivor movement" was coopted right before our eyes and made to be totally ineffective and, well, where is everyone?

Kay Ebeling

23 hrs · 

 I have to accept that the end result is long lonely days and nights. People with lots of friends and family keep their mouths shut much better than I do. But at age 67 am I going to change now? Not likely in fact it seems like it's getting worse. I'm turning into one of those old women who you don't know what is going to pop out of her mouth. Hmm, maybe I should leverage that.

-----
The city of angels is everywhere

Was going to write they finally fired a bishop and then I saw this

Latest Vatican spin and way to leverage the pedophile priests to their advantage: they used our issue as an excuse to get rid of a gay bishop. wow

Allegedly Gay Bishop Resigns After Accusations Of Protecting Pedophiles

VATICAN CITY (ChurchMilitant.com) - A Brazilian archbishop accused of shielding sexually abusive priests has resigned. Among other things, Pagotto has also…

CHURCHMILITANT.COM

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By Kay Ebeling
the City of Angels is Everywhere

An Archbishop, a congressman, and a doctor walk into a bar...

Kay Ebeling

Just now · 

trying to get a congressmember to respond to you is like trying to get a doctor to listen to you is like trying to get an Archbishop to admit that hundreds of thousands of children raped by priests shows systematic issues within the Catholic Church that need to be addressed. But instead. . .

Catholic Church set tone for insane criminal world we live in, by its handling of pedophile priests

Kay Ebeling

4 mins · 

A society where a hundred thousand children get raped by Catholic priests and that church is still running strong ends up producing one demented killing criminal after another, all symptoms of the same breakdown. If the Catholic Church will not take responsibility for what it did, why should anyone else, that is the spirit permeating the nation today. In many ways, everything that is wrong today can be laid at the feet of the Church for not taking a leadership role and being humble, making amends, admitting guilt. They set the tone for the rest of the world and the world is following.

Wife: Homeless Man Killed After Fight Over Paintball Gun

A homeless man was beaten and killed in Santee, California following a dispute over a paintball gun, his wife told NBC 7 San Diego.

NBCSANDIEGO.COM

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my 2 cents

I can finally tell this part of the story

Super Bowl Sunday February 2010

(first draft, needs editing)

It was maybe two hours after I put up the "kamikaze post" that I got a phone call from my lawyer. Now that my case is "settled" and I'll probably never hear from any of them again, I feel it's okay to tell this part of the story 

His voice was hesitant.  Considering the hour and who he was, he could have been coming out from church, it was still early in the day. It was Super Bowl Sunday. 

He  said, "I don't know what it is you just put up." Hesitate, inhale cough- "but … take it down."

What? I said? Why are you calling me saying that.

"It's just-" hesitate hesitate "you have to take it down."

Who called you and told you to tell me that? I asked and he did not answer.

So I answered something like, "Sure I'll take the post down, you tell those church pukes that for six million dollars I'll take my whole blog down. Nothing less. Six million dollars."

He sputtered something that showed he didn't really know why himself, he hesitated more, but the end result was, my lawyer called two hours after I put up the post and asked me to take it down. I refused to take it down because I've been a journalist a lot longer than I've been a pedophile priest lawsuit plaintiff and it just did not rub me right.

And it was then that the attacks on me behind the scenes started, that resulted in me living six years later in a strange town hiding without a friend or a family member in the world in my life. 

(How did my lawyer, not in his office or at home at the time, know I'd put up the post? Who called him right away and told him to call me and tell me to take it down? Who knew he was my attorney? Well, I did tell one person who my attorney was, who would have known to call him ... and that's another reason why I believe SNAP works for the church. 

Like most civil lawsuit attorneys, mine rarely returned my calls, and only called me if he had something to tell me.  Yet, here it was Super Bowl Sunday and I'd only signed on with him a few months earlier, my case was barely in motion. And within minutes after my post, someone knew to call him and tell him to call me.)

More on this story to come) 

I woke up in a sweat. The past few weeks I'd been in these confusing conversations with David Clohessy over the telephone from St. Louis.  I lived in an apartment in central Hollywood that was just north of being a slum, you feel like a rodent already when you live in housing like that.

From that whole in the wall I was doing City of Angels Blog from scratch, figuring it out as I went along

And it was now three years into the project, and I kept having these weird experiences and everything pointed to SNAP was not who they said they were.  So in all the naivete I still had at that point, I ended up in phone conversations with David C trying to find out what SNAP really was. 

And here this executive director of a pretty big nonprofit who was in the news all the time was claiming he knew nothing at all about where the money came from or who makes the decisions about what to do with the money, who decides what project that SNAP will have.  Every question I asked the exec director of the organization that was supposed to be there for me as one of the victim was met with, "I have no idea, that's not my job, I don't handle that," etcetera.

Those answers from Clohessy, combined with things survivors were telling me in interviews one after the other as I did the blog caused-

I woke up that Super Bowl Sunday morning, rolled off my futon over to the laptop and started writing.  SNAP is being incompetent on purpose, I said, and it came out wrong and a lot of people got angry.  What I was saying is, you can't keep screwing up one thing after another the exact same way in city after city unless that is what you are setting out to do.  They were being incompetent on purpose, sending out press notifications with incorrect times and addresses, that was the one that was repeated in city after city that was just so blatant.

I think the template for SNAP as a counter intel group in the pedophile priest movement was created before the internet, so it did not take into account all the information people would be able to get in spite of the Church.

But I digress.

That Super Bowl Sunday I put up that post, what I now refer to as my kamikaze post and then watched the chips start to fall.

As they say, you do something and let the chips fall. Then, the chips start to fall.

And one of the first chips to fall was that phone call from my lawyer. 

(SIDE TRIP: I'd already in the first minutes after putting up the kamikaze post gotten email from Bob Schwiderski going on the offense reacting to the post.  Every time I'd put up a story that kind of questioned what SNAP was in the previous weeks, I'd get an email from Bob Schwiderski saying to stop asking questions, but after the Super Bowl Sunday 2010 post, this SNAP leader from Minnesota went into full attack mode, which ended up about a week later with him sending out emails to 500 people on his list condemning me in a nasty parody video. My email also filled up in the hours and days after the kamikaze post  with notes from other pedophile priest victims saying, you are so right about SNAP I feel exactly the same way, which surprised me and gave me hope. Schwiderski's attack was very visible. After that the creeps went behind the scenes to discredit this blog and keep it from being picked up by other sites. That's SNAP. )

(NOTE: This is a quickly jotted down first draft but this is the story I still need to tell)

email to a friend or two

the blog ruined my life, honest. Since I've been in Tahoe I have tried over and over to join things, volunteer places. They say, oh we'd love to have you, they encourage me. Then I fill in the form and someone Googles my name. And they never contact me again. 

I tried this in Tahoe now with: 

Serving the homeless (in a Pres church that was advertising for more volunteers)

helping out with a mental health group (Catholics on their Board) 

and most recently "League to Save Lake Tahoe" where they embraced me at their fundraiser / volunteer recruiting party. I know a lot about environmental stuff, hey, I used to work at NASA. So I filled out the form, I am a journalist will work for you for free. 

Crickets. 

Once someone googles my name I am a parriah. 

I never thought about this when I was posting and posting at CofA Blog all that stuff in 2007 and in 2008 or one of my favorites PipiLeaks in 2009 then as I went under attack I tried to continue in 2011 but it all started to fall apart after that. 
A few months back every apartment I applied for turned me down with no explanation as well. They were mostly nonprofit run low income places. One was run by the Sisters of Mercy and, they did not respond to me. 

I finally got that little check from the archbishop of chicago in March and used it to get into a long term vacation rental, no questions asked just hand over the cash. That's where most of my settlement went, my nonrefundable housing deposit. 

And to top it off

I have no one to watch Spotlight with. 

THINGS ARE NOT RESOLVED with me at all

(earlier in a journal): 

Whole time I was doing the blog, people kept saying to me, you're so brave.  I would think, what are they talking about. I'm a journalist, this is a story that needs to be told, what else would I do but write it, that's what journalists do.  I was so caught up in the pace I didn't realize why they were calling me brave.

I do now. 

It's been a few years since I wrote a real piece of journalism on the blog, all I do now is dash off a raging paragraph or two that is just personal opinion, ranting.

But this blog will follow me to my grave.

It just happened again. I went to a place, everyone was happy to meet me, encouraging me to sign up to volunteer.  But then I filled in the form with my real name and, well, I never heard from them again. 

And then SNAP, on whom my reporting is the root of these problems, has the audacity to call itself a Support Network for pedophile priest crime survivors. I can't seem to get over how extremely pissed off I am about this whole thing. 
-
-ke 

I remember how weird things got, from the minute I posted the post on Feb 10 2010 (since then I've added to it) saying I think SNAP is working for the church and why. One of the strangest parts was this phone call I got from My Lawyer about ten minutes later, 
On A Super Bowl Sunday in 2010 my lawyer 
who never called me ever 
dropped everything to call me
Telling me I had to take down the post. And I would not take it down. Then, only then, did i start to go under attack. For pointing out the stuff that was wrong with SNAP, not for reporting on pedophile priest crimes, which everyone knew a bit about. It was what I uncovered about SNAP that caused all the trouble... 

sigh

Kay Ebeling

Just now · 

as i sit here cooking my beans, isolated even on this saturday night, i keep reminding myself, i did the right thing, i did the right thing. However, integrity don't get a guy a lot of awards these days

so I'm just gonna sit here on a mountain top and watch what happens next

Nullified
The saddest part of all this is survivors who know something is wrong but do not want to lose their place at the table so they say and do nothing, go along, and then wonder why things are so stagnant. Spotlight came and went and with branches in almost every major city, SNAP could have had nationwide events to go along with release of the film. Instead, what happened for pedophile priests victims as a movement with release of Spotlight? Barbara Blaine went to the Oscars. Now this weekend conference goers get to watch the movie with Blaine herself. The past year, SOL bills lost in New York Pennsylvania and Illinois, pedophile priests are living in comfort, and no bishop yet went to prison for aiding and abetting. But a few dozen people will watch Spotlight together in Chicago tonight. I see no reason to celebrate 

SNAP out of it, we were Nullified

The time for action was 2007-2010 when these crimes were being discovered in archdioceses across the country and lawsuits were being filed and resolved.  Instead, SNAPshowed up in one city after another, whenever the story broke, and nullified whatever the local survivors were doing. 

Nullified

That's the word for what they did, how the Church carried out damage control, and kept all but the minimal amount of information about these crimes from surfacing. 

Now, it's really too late and the movement is little more than an annual conference, like this weekend in Chicago, where a lot of people hug each other and pat each other on the back but…

For what? 

I'd say SNAP out of it, but it's really too late anyway

Kay Ebeling

5 mins · 

you are all trying to succeed within the very structure that the Church created to keep you from succeeding, then wondering why you lose one battle after another. If only a few of you had listened to me instead of them in 2010 when we still had a chance. Oh well, i'm cool on a mountain top now.

-ke

Grateful for trauma?

Kay Ebeling

Just now · 

Once again I am grateful for having had PTSD for decades as I am using those "skills" now to deal with new horrible things as they arise, things not related to the original trauma at all. It's like my brain has developed a muscle now that can smush down the panic rage confusion before it can even start. I know I have to move forward, not linger, move forward. Hmm. they say there is always a silver lining. . .