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Friday, July 12, 2019

Pedophile Priests and Climate Science

Climate scientists are going through something similar to what I went through doing blog about pedophile priests: 'Climate scientists face a distinct dilemma: “They have to deal with the surrealism of knowing what we know and living within a society choosing not to know or willing itself not to know…For them it’s incredibly difficult to find yourself in a role not asked for: ‘I didn’t choose to be suddenly in the midst of a swirl of political and cultural and social trauma.’”' (From Mother Jones article linked below)
(I'm not a scientist but I used to write press releases for scientists and so am going through a similar thing to climate scientists today:)
'So what is it like to be cursed with foreknowledge that others ignore? Peter Kalmus... says. '“Astrophysics... had no implication for the possible collapse of human civilization.” But the unrelenting momentum of climate change does. “I’m always thinking about it,” he says. “That can be a burden. Whenever friends talk about flying off to vacation, I feel compelled to point out the large carbon cost to flying. I’d like to take a vacation from thinking about it. I’m not sure that is psychologically possible.”
'During the recent wildfires in California, where he lives, Kalmus became irritable because the link between natural disasters and climate change was not front and center in media coverage. Like many climate scientists, he is often hit by waves of grief. Kalmus once called his congressional representative to support a piece of climate change legislation. “I was explaining to the staffer why it was urgent, and I started crying,” he says. “For me, the grief comes up unexpectedly.” '

About this website

The distinct burden of being a climate scientist
  • Kay Ebeling I sit here at 6000 feet in what should be an environmental masterpiece, yet every day this summer the smell of car exhaust greets me when I open my windows, walk outside and it feels like LA in the 1990s. There are So Many Tourists Driving Cars in town right now that it is unpleasant to breathe, until the wonderful wind comes and blows it away. But blows it to where?
  • Kay Ebeling 'Fossil fuel emissions killed 90 percent of this reef. But my dominant strategy is to intellectualize it and say, ‘What a crazy species we are.’ As a scientist, my only role is to generate useful information.” '
  • -ke

Monday, June 24, 2019

I find my inability to trust anyone a problem. However

I have started a new fantasy to get me through:
I am a  galactic anthropologist who spends one lifetime after another traveling to different planets and planes at times of crisis to observe, then report back.  I came to Earth in 1948 to live through this time of high crime and corruption.
I plan to report that the pedophile priest crimes coming out in late twentieth century was one last chance for humankind, and the Vatican blew it. 
Because I am on a galactic mission, nothing fazes me. When I die and leave the planet, I will report back... then my colleagues and i will watch together as this peculiar human species likely self destructs. Then I'll go somewhere else. 
If I live my fantasy of being an "eternal journalist" from another part of the galaxy, just here on assignment, nothing else, I'm not part of all this crazy earthly stuff anymore.
I was on assignment when I landed in Superior Court downtown L.A. in Jan 2007 and started CofA Blog about these crimes among other things. My peculiar billet also landed me in the middle of the anti-war movement and counter culture 1960s-70s, at NASA in years up to first Space Shuttle, at a PR firm in Beverly Hills repping movie stars as a kind of dalliance, and then in the "Movement" of pedophile priest victims.  I have a lot to say when I get back to HQ. 
As long as I live in this fantasy, I don't care about any of the insane things humans do, or take it personally, or even want to change it. I'm just a reporter... and who knows, maybe my "assignment" is not imagination, maybe it's my awakening.

Monday, April 1, 2019

I am seeking a literary agent to develop Pedophile Priest stories into a TV series

As a pedophile priest crime victim who is also a journalist, I've covered this true story of sex crimes against children for several years and now seek representation to continue my series of articles and produce them as a book and true crime TV series.
I wrote about specific cases around the world and posted them here “Pedophile Priest True Crime Series” proposed here: and I've continued to post an occasional story about recent developments at this City of Angels Blog site from 2012 to present here: The blog started here: City of Angels Blog 2007: L.A. Clergy Cases: I covered 660 civil lawsuits against the Los Angeles Archdiocese as they went through L.A. Superior Court. 
For three years I traveled the country writing these true stories of pedophile priest crimes and the victims until I could no longer support the investigation with my own resources alone.  So now I'm seeking a literary agent to help sell these stories as a TV true crime series and / or book, or a video series to be streamed online, in order to produce the rest of the story of pedophile priest crimes, the part of the story the Catholic Church worked for twenty years to prevent too many individuals from learning.
From doing my blog, I am certain that the complete story has not yet been told of these thousands of sex crimes against children, because no one has done what I was trying to do, go from archdiocese to archdiocese to research the crimes and point out similarities in every city.  So far I've interviewed dozens of victims and have noted patterns and similarities in the crimes in every archdiocese in the country.
I need a literary agent to help me, are you interested?
Thank you,
Kay Ebeling, South Lake Tahoe, California
PS:  I covered more pedophile priest cases around the country on these blogs as well.
The truth needs to be told, or this horror of sex crimes against children could be repeated. 
I hope you are interested in working with me.

Thursday, March 14, 2019

'Well, father, just like those Crips and Bloods, you're culpable, because you joined the gang, man.'

(Just got around to watching Three Billboards Outside Ebbing Missouri and found this angry and effective dialogue from Mildred talking to a local priest, kinda shocking, showing how the pedophile priest crimes have ebbed into our cultural infrastructure [yay] so transcribed it, and posted it here:)

Mildred:  You know what I was thinking about today?  I was thinking about those street gangs they have down in Los Angeles the Crips and Bloods.   And I was thinking about those laws they came up with in the 1980s I think it was to combat those street gangs, those Crips and those Bloods.  And if I remember rightly the gist of what those new laws was saying was if you join one of these gangs and you run with them and down the block one night unbeknownst to you one of your fellow Crips or your fellow Bloods shoot up a place or stab a guy, well then even though you may not know nothing about it and even though you may have just been standing on the street corner minding your own business, what these new laws said was, you're still culpable.  You're still culpable by the very act of having joined those Crips and Bloods in the first place. 
Which got me thinking, father, that whole type of situation is kind of like you church boys ain’t it.  You got your colors, you got your club house, your for want of a better word a gang.  And if you're upstairs smoking a pipe and reading your Bible while one of your fellow gang members is downstairs fucking an altar boy, well, father, just like those Crips and just like those Bloods, you're culpable, because you joined the gang, man.  I don't care if you never did shit and you never saw shit and you never heard shit, you joined the gang, you're culpable.  And when a person is culpable to altar boy fucking or any kind of boy fucking, [or child fucking] because I know you guys didn't really narrow that down, then you kind of forfeit the right to come into my house and say anything about me or my life or my daughter  or my billboards.  So why don’t you just finish up your tea, there, father and get the fuck out of my kitchen.

Monday, March 11, 2019

Finding Father Horne connections in Leaving Neverland

Finally broke down to watch Leaving Neverland and glad I did as now I get why my sister treated me So Bad my whole life. I was the new one come to replace her with Father Horne. Like boys who showed up to replace boys at Neverland, I was younger, almost just like her, now I see how that made her feel when she was 10 years old. 
however THAT DOESN'T MEAN you could treat me like shit for 60 years after that 
Another Leaving Neverland Note: The people cheering when Michael Jackson was found not guilty in 2005 look almost exactly like Trump supporters reverently cheering our leader as he gets away with yet more crimes. Something similar there. Can you say... Satan!!!! 
lol kinda
(just thought I'd share this morning's very personal thought...)

Tuesday, September 4, 2018

Several perfect storms exposed pedophile priests

By Kay Ebeling - City of Angels

(First published here at CofA blog Oct 2016)

He was tall and thin and wore bow ties, and he was packing up his laptop to leave just as the hearing started.
While counsel for plaintiffs stood before the judge detailing obstruction of justice the Archdiocese carried out against pedophile priest victims, the court beat reporter from the L.A. Times was packing up to leave. And he was the only journalist there besides me. 
The judge said something like: “So the monsignor encountered the priest who then scampered into the woods to hide, then a nine-year-old boy came out of the rectory with blood running down his legs, and now defendant will not produce the monsignor for deposition?” to which plaintiff’s attorney emphasized, “Yes, your honor.”
I grabbed the L.A. Times guy’s arm and asked, “Why are you leaving?”
“Phil Spector!” he stage whispered and scampered out of the courtroom to cover the celebrity murder trial up the street. ***
The Times reporter left with his two thousand dollar laptop and I stayed at the hearing, scribbling notes into a dime store notepad. Then came a perfect storm. 
Even the cheapest laptops cost a thousand dollars back then and I had been on unemployment for more than a year around the time of that hearing, because a writers' strike halted production. So at home all I had was a massive desktop with massive monitor. Then all of a sudden I went back to work and somehow Unemployment owed me a thousand dollars in back payments.  I didn't even know why.
So a check for a little more than a thousand dollars showed up in my mailbox.  I used the lump sum to buy a laptop and took it with me downtown to cover the L.A. Clergy Cases almost daily when I got off work. 
In those months I became the only news source covering most of the hearings while close to a thousand pedophile priest lawsuits against the Archdiocese of Los Angeles and San Diego went through L.A. Superior Court in 2007. 
There were other perfect storms connected to production of City of Angels Blog, so many that for a while there, I really thought angelic intervention was making things happen. 
Actually I'm still not sure…  
It was a perfect storm connected to the other perfect storm that caused me to know how to do a blog in the first place. 

Earlier in 2006, I had tried to create one at blogger dot com and it was too difficult.  Then in December that year, Google purchased Blogger and created Blogspot with a dashboard that made blogging very easy.  Also, in 2006 all those TV production crews on strike were doing blogs, which I went to daily for updates.  They already knew how to post videos, live feeds of events, links to other blogs, and were going at it during the strike, and I soon became fascinated by how a blog could be a powerful tool as a means of communication.  
So, since Google created a new dashboard in late 2006,  I was able to create Cityof Angels Blog 3 in January 2007, with a laptop I got for being unemployed during the writers’ strike using techniques I learned from striking writers, And I started going to hearings in L.A. Superior Court downtown.

More perfect storms soon followed. 

One afternoon after a hearing, the judge overheard me ask his clerk how to access the documents in all these lawsuits, and next day the clerk approached me to say, here is how to access the documents.  I followed his instructions, went in the little ground floor room with my laptop, which was loaded with transcription software (I do transcription for TV shows for  living). So I was able to copy at great speed the documents that had been filed in several of the 660 cases that remained in L.A. County, the San Diego cases having split to go south.
I really went to town in that little room  and even created the expression “document diving,” posting some really revealing information straight up to City of Angels Blog 3.  But within weeks the Superior Court media office decided to close off the room, and I was never able to access the documents again.  Soon the whole Clergy Case operation was moved to a courthouse in a different part of town that was hard for me to get to on the bus.  In order to to read the documents in that courthouse, one had to pay a good amount of dollars per page and have them printed.
So there was just that short period, that short perfect storm, several months at the most, where I was able to document dive and publish all kinds of documents exposing all kinds of crimes carried out by the Archbishop of Los Angeles in covering up the crimes of pedophile priests.
In fact there are perfect storms connected to the entire breakthrough of the pedophile priest crime stories, going back to the nineteen eighties.
Personally, before 1994, I thought I had imagined the incident with Father Horne-y.  For years I believed that St. Michael the Archangel came to me in the woods when I was 5-6 years old and did this AMAZING thing to me with his fingers between my legs.  From that age on I was determined to share that wonderful thing with everyone I met and boy did I get in trouble.  My sexuality from age six to, well, the present got me ostracized, hated, kids weren’t allowed to play with me, wives were gunning for me after what I did with their husbands. To this day at age sixty eight, my sexuality is a problem in that I'm not able to take part at all.  Because until 1994 I was so dysfunctional, today I just don’t even try.
In 1994 I found out the incident with Father Horne (aka Father Horne-y) was not Michael the Archangel and was not my imagination, it really happened.  I learned through a phone conversation with a long estranged sister.  I found out Father Horne-y had gotten to her as well. 

Probably the most important perfect storm of them all: 

In the 1990s, the home computer came out
Then the internet got connected to home computers
And I just happened to live in San Francisco where the dot com bubble was imploding and lots of small businesses were closing.  Therefore, I was able to buy a second hand computer cheap, like a hundred dollars.  The dot com businessman, desperate to liquidate and get out of town, even came over to our home in the Lower Haight to show me how to hook up to the internet.
That afternoon I went online and found other pedophile priest victims around the country.

In fact, in writing about this issue, there have been so many miracles, or perfect storms, or angelic interventions, that for a while there I started to think God arranged it all.
Arranged it so that right after the story came out on in the late 1980s On A Few TV Shows, This Very Democratic Communication Source had been invented, so that survivors could use it to keep evil powers from preventing release of the truth.
Okay, maybe I am going too far.
But think of it.
It makes sense  
As soon as the first survivor appeared on Oprah Winfrey, the church went to work creating a way to keep the mainstream world from finding out about these crimes in their entirety.
Thanks to the internet the church was not able to control the release of the story, at least not able to for that short period of time. 
Since the nineties, corporate and other powers have found ways to prevent information from being released as easily as it was when the World Wide Web first became available to civilians.
If survivors went online looking for other survivors today, most of what they’d find is corporate controlled websites. 
However, in those first years of the internet, the nineties through about 2010, the internet was just enough of a free for all to get past the powers of the Catholic Church and get out to the public at least some of the truth about the pedophile priests.
Enough of the story of this epidemic of crimes against children came out to show the guilt of the monsignors, bishops, and even popes.  How humans react to that information, not even God or any powers can control.

Another perfect storm in my story: 

There I was in 1994, bloated recovering from several addictions, in my mid forties, fifty pounds overweight, going to A-A meetings finally sober for more than two years, when I started remembering things and made that phone call to my sister. That was was another part of the perfect storm for me. I was sober for the first time in my life so able to think things through enough to call my sister. Almost all my life I've been estranged  from my sister, and today am estranged from her again. But that one day in 1994 I was talking to her, and I called her to ask, did anything ever happen to you with Father Horne when you were little.
And she said, Oh no, he got to you too?
And my life changed.
And it's still changing.
With that phone call, I knew I was not born a slut, but an evil priest had put those compulsions inside me, probably not even knowing that by finger banging me at age five there under the trees, he turned me into a rabid sex fiend who spent the next four decades determined to show everyone this wonderful thing he showed me.
Yes, a little dalliance on the part of a perverted priest with a little girl created a whore who destroyed families everywhere she went from puberty until depletion.
There I was at age forty-five in 1994 clean and sober for the first time in my life, my daughter turning age five, the age I was when the molestation took place. I was feeling so guilty in those days wondering why I did the things I did. And then with Oprah Winfrey and a phone call to my sister, I suddenly had an explanation.
And a home computer and a man who hooked me up to the internet for the first time
All for the first time ever. All in a few months time.
In the early nineties, I went online searching for other persons who’d been molested by Catholic priests and found the first chat rooms, called a “listservs.” As a public service, universities let ordinary people use their newly installed internet servers to communicate, sharing this wonderful democratic new communication tool.  I found a listserv for pedophile priest victims who were members of a group called The Linkup and started chatting every night as addicted then as people get now when they first get online. 

A series of perfect storms. 

Today everything on the internet seems to be corporate managed and the small voices are barely heard, except for within small groups of other small voices.  However, in the 1990s, we were able to get some great things done during that one small window of time, that perfect storm.
Without the internet, pedophile priests probably would still be free to do what they want and the bishops would still be hiding them. For centuries, the church was able to hide these crimes and act astonished when victims came forward in one city after another, insisting it was an isolated case that never happens ever anywhere else in the church.
Could be that God, or The Arranger, Creator, Goddess, whatever, knew there would be this one short fast opportunity to get out the truth, get past the powers, and get as much of the truth out as possible before the powers took control again.
The internet is not the democratic sharing free-for-all it was in the nineteen nineties.
For that short period, we slipped past the guards and found each other through this tool, then used this tool to make it so public that the church could no longer deny the pedophile priest crimes. They diverted our attention, pointed at other places, “Public school teachers do it, Baptists do it!” but the truth still came out.
So is it that weird to think God or some Higher Power arranged for the internet and home computer to come out just after television shows about the crimes, so humans, at least a few of us, would grab hold of those tools and get past the guards and expose these crimes?
I don't think so.

Posted by Kay Ebeling
Producer, City of Angels Blog
Not just L.A., the city of angels is everywhere

*** The guy from the L.A. Times would only stay for five minutes into a hearing, then get up and leave because the Phil Spector murder trial was going on up the street, where reporters were not even allowed in the courtroom. Still the L.A. Times reporter believed that being one of hundreds of “journalists” waiting to write down the three or four words said into a microphone during breaks in the Phil Spector murder trial, and then reporting the exact same words as every news outlet in town, was more important than the thousand civil cases going through Superior Court in early 2007 about pedophile priests molesting thousands of children in the region. 

Personal Post Script: To this day I think I was kept alive through several scenarios in my life where I shouldhave ended up dead so that I would be in L.A. the year the month and the day that about a thousand lawsuits against the Archdiocese of Los Angeles were going through Superior Court and no other reporter was paying attention. 

I think I was kept alive to do this blog

And I'm still here.


Tuesday, July 17, 2018

D Trump and B Blaine

Trump's meeting with Putin yesterday with no one to witness it reminds me of when Barbara Blaine got arrested in Rome few years ago and was taken in to Vatican buildings with no one to witness it. Perhaps Covert Operatives arrange events like these so they are able to meet with their handlers, with no witnesses, to report and get new instructions. 

Thursday, March 29, 2018

Any time you mix sex with god, everyone gets fucked 

Friday, January 12, 2018

Most my babbling is going on here now:
Kay Ebeling 

Thursday, November 16, 2017

I am Not a victim, a pedophile priest just got to me.

Now if anyone asks, I say I'm a journalist who helped break a story that was controversial and took a lot of guff for it, it affected my career and my life. Still I stand behind the work I did, I know it was the right thing to do. 
If someone I meet then finds out the topic I covered was pedophile priests, it is like a litmus test. If they can't handle it, I don't want them as my friend, in fact I wonder about them. When they continue to be my friend, I know they are capable of complex thought and there is potential for a further friendship there. 
Yes I probably would have been more successful if that molestation by a priest hadn't happened but I don't really know that.
When I was five-six years old I was diddled by a priest and then everyone told me to stop talking about it. That may have driven me to be a journalist in the first place, because always inside I knew there was some injustice, some wrong thing, and I had to tell it to the world. Without that experience, I probably would be a grandmother now surrounded by children and experiencing holidays. But I also could have died of Some  Mundane and Ordinary Disease decades ago. 
I am not a victim. I'm a human being who went through a horrible experience and now I'm an old lady living in a difficult time in history with a tremendous amount of survival skills. I don't feel like a victim at all.
Life goes on, even after death. 

Also posted at CofA25 this same date
I am not sure, but pretty sure, that I never used the word "victim" to describe myself until I connected with SNAP. From the start in support groups they repeated, "You are not a victim, you are a survivor." Until that time, I wanted to be an activist.  In 1996 I was reaching out in San Francisco looking for others who’d had this experience to find others, to Take Action. 
I Know I started to use the word "survivor" after connecting with SNAP but to me even that word did not describe me. 
I never was a victim. A pedophile priest got to me. It happened, I'm still here, it affected me.  It was a felony and he and everyone who enabled all the pedophile priests should have been prosecuted. WTF. That aiding and abetting was the real crime. 

Monday, November 13, 2017

I heard another pundit salivate over details of an adult / teenage sex encounter, and I turned off the News for good

These stories are triggering the Fuck out of me, since Weinstein broke, bk there's nothing genuine about any of it. These stories were Placed in the news to have the desired effect they are having: Degrading Americans on the left and the right, filling our air waves with degrading stories of sick sex While the President is carrying on in ways that will permanently damage the USA forever.  We are wallowing in sexual shenanigans while our nation Goes Down and they set it up this way.  
For me this is a double whammy because 
I'm a pedophile priest victim who thanks to these stories is having all this horrible shit brought up all over again with a strange unsatisfying feeling as in, why is this happening this way now etc. 
Where were all these reporters when the stories of priests molesting thousands of children came out?
On Top Of That I once was a newspaper editor, and I once worked with some really good PR people, so I can see what is happening here, to me it is so obvious:  The placement of the stories, the results the stories are getting. 
I feel like I"m in a sci-fi movie, watching my fellow human beings walk right into a trap that I can see but they can't so all I can do is watch. 
Somehow the two issues are connected
I think that if the Vatican had responded with Justice to the pedophile priest victims, then the whole world would have gone a different direction. 
I feel like the final downfall of humanity started when the Pope decided to go corporate instead of admitting what happened with the priests and dealing with it with Justice and... humanity. 
It ain't fun taking this ride down, even though I'm in a good place here in Tahoe to maybe survive what is coming. 
I think there is a connection. I think all of them, God, Jesus, and whoever else is up there, were watching, indeed, even gave humans one last chance with the pedophile priest victims and HUMANS BLEW IT. (as a class not all of us) 
thank you for listening 

Saturday, November 11, 2017

If only the priests had been celebrities, 
then someone might have heard us.

Thursday, November 9, 2017

True Pedophile Priest Sex Crime Stories do not make the news, but today we know everything there is to know about Harvey Weinstein's penis

The Fact stories of pedophile priests were IGNORED but there are Details of Kevin Spacey touching a guy's butt in 1986 all over the internet shows how UNREAL today's news coverage is.
Meanwhile I am Proud of this work I did a few years back, publishing these stories, even though it got me so ostracized, abandoned in Appallacchia, and even poisoned at one point, but I can't prove it. (Honest at CofA 15 read the "spider bite" story.) Now I hide in the Sierras but I stand by this work.

(In every Archdiocese in every city, the pattern of crime is the same. There is more to the story of pedophile priests in the Catholic Chur...

Sunday, May 21, 2017

Vatican Wide Open to Trump but pedo-priest victim can't get past front door

Interesting. Trump is about to get a special tour of The Vatican including St. Peter's Cathedral. I'm one of the pedophile priest victims and have not been able to even walk into a church for years without getting a knife-life stomach ache. Interesting that someone like Trump can rally right into the place...

Tuesday, May 9, 2017

Priest w AIDS raped 30 girls and "forgiven" by Church

Wonder what happened to the 30 girls:
this is the kind of stuff Catholic Church covered up last few years, using same tactics of deflection and disinformation that Russia is using now to keep Americans from finding out truth. I often wonder if some major international PR firm ran both projects...

Dan Ward shared a link to Pete Saracino's Timeline.
5 hrs

Catholic Church absolved priest after who faces no criminal charges for raping young girls under 10 - A Catholic Priest has been acquitted by the church after…

Posted by Kay
Still Here