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Thursday, November 8, 2018

Not for me...

Down in the lobby, a woman who says illegal aliens (the Mexican ones) should be deported and keeps posting flyers on the bulletin board that say "build the wall" is wearing as a necklace a 12 inch cross that covers her entire bodice, the size cross I haven't seen since Cardinal Roger Mahony showed up in Superior Court at the settlement hearing in 2007 re 660 persons who were molested by priests as children in L.A. County, only Mahony’s cross was encrusted top to bottom with glittery diamonds. My neighbor’s massive cross necklace is just costume jewelry. 
I keep thinking I should start going to church again to experience "community" then remembering why I don't go.

Saturday, October 20, 2018

Trump the Trojan Horse has taken my mind off pedophile priests, at least there's that

I've changed so much in the past two years. It's hard for me to even CARE about the Catholic Church and its cast of perverts right now, which I covered here for ten years.  Now I watch as the USA is under information warfare attack, which I think is likely being run by Putin and his country full of spy professionals, but likely funded by Saudis. Right now, the war on USA by messaging is on the uptake, accelerating, becoming more bold and more aggressive, and we HAVE to stop trying to make sense of what our President is doing. He's not working for USA. I'm just afraid of what it will be like in ten years when Russia and Saudi Arabia have accomplished their goals here.
Trump is a Trojan Horse, slipped into our country through a weird election, and now every time he opens his mouth it's like little soldiers pouring out of the Trojan horse's body, going on attack and doing more and more damage to USA.
As someone who once served in the Navy and worked full time for the federal government, who once was patriotic and believed in democracy, I am astounded by how quickly our nation is being attacked and torn down.
The one similarity between what happened in the Catholic Chu-rch and what is happening to USA now is the way the humans most affected just sit there and DO NOTHING, so are just letting it happen.
But in terms of what is important and relevant now, it's much WORSE for me to watch my country be attacked and destroyed the way the Trump presidency is destroying us than it was for me to learn of the hundreds of thousands of pedophile priest crimes in the last century.
So glad I'm living now on top of a mountain where it would be hard for the tanks to get to me. I'm seriously scared.

-Kay Ebeling
On top of California, watching it all happen

*Also Posted today at City of Angels 25 Pundit
 See also Trump is a Trojan Horse July 2018
And Trump is a Trojan Horse May 2017

Thursday, September 27, 2018

WTF?

A hundred thousand plus persons report being molested as children by Catholic priests and American Justice Yawns. There were no hearings, no major investigations. 
Now someone reports being pressed against a wall after a night of bar drinking and it's called "sexual assault" and reported worldwide even in Senate hearings.
This makes no sense to me at all.

Kay Ebeling

Friday, September 21, 2018

PTSD causes auto immune disease

PTSD causes auto immune disease I am learning as I experience it. My own body is attacking itself. Even though I'm trying to not think about the traumatic stuff, it comes in my email, it comes in with the news. I'm really suffering these days with, strangely enough, Allergies to Everything now along with pain in my legs, my joints deteriorating. I'm trying to live healthy, eat healthy, but then wonder what good does it do when every time I turn on the News, there is a bishop pretending to care about the pedophile priest victims or pundits babbling about "sexual abuse." I wish they'd shut up and talk about real news like Hog farms overflowing effluent into the ground water, and climate catastrophes, but instead it's sex sex sex and rape rape rape, triggering me over and over. This connection between the brain and the body is mysterious and powerful. At least I'm in a comfortable safe place to live at Tahoe Senior Plaza while I go through this. When I moved here, I quit using MedMJ because I just don't like the "side effects" I don't like being "high" and losing my keys all the time, etc, plus it Costs Too Much and I was coughing so bad. Quitting weed may be why things are so bad right now. But I'm also amazed that even when you consciously try not to Dwell on the thing causing the trauma, your body keeps the PTSD going despite your brain's efforts.
weird

Tuesday, September 4, 2018

Several perfect storms exposed pedophile priests

By Kay Ebeling - City of Angels

(First published here at CofA blog Oct 2016)

He was tall and thin and wore bow ties, and he was packing up his laptop to leave just as the hearing started.
While counsel for plaintiffs stood before the judge detailing obstruction of justice the Archdiocese carried out against pedophile priest victims, the court beat reporter from the L.A. Times was packing up to leave. And he was the only journalist there besides me. 
The judge said something like: “So the monsignor encountered the priest who then scampered into the woods to hide, then a nine-year-old boy came out of the rectory with blood running down his legs, and now defendant will not produce the monsignor for deposition?” to which plaintiff’s attorney emphasized, “Yes, your honor.”
I grabbed the L.A. Times guy’s arm and asked, “Why are you leaving?”
“Phil Spector!” he stage whispered and scampered out of the courtroom to cover the celebrity murder trial up the street. ***
The Times reporter left with his two thousand dollar laptop and I stayed at the hearing, scribbling notes into a dime store notepad. Then came a perfect storm. 
Even the cheapest laptops cost a thousand dollars back then and I had been on unemployment for more than a year around the time of that hearing, because a writers' strike halted production. So at home all I had was a massive desktop with massive monitor. Then all of a sudden I went back to work and somehow Unemployment owed me a thousand dollars in back payments.  I didn't even know why.
So a check for a little more than a thousand dollars showed up in my mailbox.  I used the lump sum to buy a laptop and took it with me downtown to cover the L.A. Clergy Cases almost daily when I got off work. 
In those months I became the only news source covering most of the hearings while close to a thousand pedophile priest lawsuits against the Archdiocese of Los Angeles and San Diego went through L.A. Superior Court in 2007. 
-----
There were other perfect storms connected to production of City of Angels Blog, so many that for a while there, I really thought angelic intervention was making things happen. 
Actually I'm still not sure…  
It was a perfect storm connected to the other perfect storm that caused me to know how to do a blog in the first place. 

Earlier in 2006, I had tried to create one at blogger dot com and it was too difficult.  Then in December that year, Google purchased Blogger and created Blogspot with a dashboard that made blogging very easy.  Also, in 2006 all those TV production crews on strike were doing blogs, which I went to daily for updates.  They already knew how to post videos, live feeds of events, links to other blogs, and were going at it during the strike, and I soon became fascinated by how a blog could be a powerful tool as a means of communication.  
So, since Google created a new dashboard in late 2006,  I was able to create Cityof Angels Blog 3 in January 2007, with a laptop I got for being unemployed during the writers’ strike using techniques I learned from striking writers, And I started going to hearings in L.A. Superior Court downtown.

More perfect storms soon followed. 

One afternoon after a hearing, the judge overheard me ask his clerk how to access the documents in all these lawsuits, and next day the clerk approached me to say, here is how to access the documents.  I followed his instructions, went in the little ground floor room with my laptop, which was loaded with transcription software (I do transcription for TV shows for  living). So I was able to copy at great speed the documents that had been filed in several of the 660 cases that remained in L.A. County, the San Diego cases having split to go south.
I really went to town in that little room  and even created the expression “document diving,” posting some really revealing information straight up to City of Angels Blog 3.  But within weeks the Superior Court media office decided to close off the room, and I was never able to access the documents again.  Soon the whole Clergy Case operation was moved to a courthouse in a different part of town that was hard for me to get to on the bus.  In order to to read the documents in that courthouse, one had to pay a good amount of dollars per page and have them printed.
So there was just that short period, that short perfect storm, several months at the most, where I was able to document dive and publish all kinds of documents exposing all kinds of crimes carried out by the Archbishop of Los Angeles in covering up the crimes of pedophile priests.
-----
In fact there are perfect storms connected to the entire breakthrough of the pedophile priest crime stories, going back to the nineteen eighties.
Personally, before 1994, I thought I had imagined the incident with Father Horne-y.  For years I believed that St. Michael the Archangel came to me in the woods when I was 5-6 years old and did this AMAZING thing to me with his fingers between my legs.  From that age on I was determined to share that wonderful thing with everyone I met and boy did I get in trouble.  My sexuality from age six to, well, the present got me ostracized, hated, kids weren’t allowed to play with me, wives were gunning for me after what I did with their husbands. To this day at age sixty eight, my sexuality is a problem in that I'm not able to take part at all.  Because until 1994 I was so dysfunctional, today I just don’t even try.
In 1994 I found out the incident with Father Horne (aka Father Horne-y) was not Michael the Archangel and was not my imagination, it really happened.  I learned through a phone conversation with a long estranged sister.  I found out Father Horne-y had gotten to her as well. 

Probably the most important perfect storm of them all: 

In the 1990s, the home computer came out
Then the internet got connected to home computers
And I just happened to live in San Francisco where the dot com bubble was imploding and lots of small businesses were closing.  Therefore, I was able to buy a second hand computer cheap, like a hundred dollars.  The dot com businessman, desperate to liquidate and get out of town, even came over to our home in the Lower Haight to show me how to hook up to the internet.
That afternoon I went online and found other pedophile priest victims around the country.

In fact, in writing about this issue, there have been so many miracles, or perfect storms, or angelic interventions, that for a while there I started to think God arranged it all.
Arranged it so that right after the story came out on in the late 1980s On A Few TV Shows, This Very Democratic Communication Source had been invented, so that survivors could use it to keep evil powers from preventing release of the truth.
Okay, maybe I am going too far.
But think of it.
It makes sense  
As soon as the first survivor appeared on Oprah Winfrey, the church went to work creating a way to keep the mainstream world from finding out about these crimes in their entirety.
Thanks to the internet the church was not able to control the release of the story, at least not able to for that short period of time. 
Since the nineties, corporate and other powers have found ways to prevent information from being released as easily as it was when the World Wide Web first became available to civilians.
If survivors went online looking for other survivors today, most of what they’d find is corporate controlled websites. 
However, in those first years of the internet, the nineties through about 2010, the internet was just enough of a free for all to get past the powers of the Catholic Church and get out to the public at least some of the truth about the pedophile priests.
Enough of the story of this epidemic of crimes against children came out to show the guilt of the monsignors, bishops, and even popes.  How humans react to that information, not even God or any powers can control.

Another perfect storm in my story: 

There I was in 1994, bloated recovering from several addictions, in my mid forties, fifty pounds overweight, going to A-A meetings finally sober for more than two years, when I started remembering things and made that phone call to my sister. That was was another part of the perfect storm for me. I was sober for the first time in my life so able to think things through enough to call my sister. Almost all my life I've been estranged  from my sister, and today am estranged from her again. But that one day in 1994 I was talking to her, and I called her to ask, did anything ever happen to you with Father Horne when you were little.
And she said, Oh no, he got to you too?
And my life changed.
And it's still changing.
With that phone call, I knew I was not born a slut, but an evil priest had put those compulsions inside me, probably not even knowing that by finger banging me at age five there under the trees, he turned me into a rabid sex fiend who spent the next four decades determined to show everyone this wonderful thing he showed me.
Yes, a little dalliance on the part of a perverted priest with a little girl created a whore who destroyed families everywhere she went from puberty until depletion.
There I was at age forty-five in 1994 clean and sober for the first time in my life, my daughter turning age five, the age I was when the molestation took place. I was feeling so guilty in those days wondering why I did the things I did. And then with Oprah Winfrey and a phone call to my sister, I suddenly had an explanation.
And a home computer and a man who hooked me up to the internet for the first time
All for the first time ever. All in a few months time.
In the early nineties, I went online searching for other persons who’d been molested by Catholic priests and found the first chat rooms, called a “listservs.” As a public service, universities let ordinary people use their newly installed internet servers to communicate, sharing this wonderful democratic new communication tool.  I found a listserv for pedophile priest victims who were members of a group called The Linkup and started chatting every night as addicted then as people get now when they first get online. 

A series of perfect storms. 

Today everything on the internet seems to be corporate managed and the small voices are barely heard, except for within small groups of other small voices.  However, in the 1990s, we were able to get some great things done during that one small window of time, that perfect storm.
Without the internet, pedophile priests probably would still be free to do what they want and the bishops would still be hiding them. For centuries, the church was able to hide these crimes and act astonished when victims came forward in one city after another, insisting it was an isolated case that never happens ever anywhere else in the church.
Could be that God, or The Arranger, Creator, Goddess, whatever, knew there would be this one short fast opportunity to get out the truth, get past the powers, and get as much of the truth out as possible before the powers took control again.
The internet is not the democratic sharing free-for-all it was in the nineteen nineties.
For that short period, we slipped past the guards and found each other through this tool, then used this tool to make it so public that the church could no longer deny the pedophile priest crimes. They diverted our attention, pointed at other places, “Public school teachers do it, Baptists do it!” but the truth still came out.
So is it that weird to think God or some Higher Power arranged for the internet and home computer to come out just after television shows about the crimes, so humans, at least a few of us, would grab hold of those tools and get past the guards and expose these crimes?
I don't think so.

Posted by Kay Ebeling
Producer, City of Angels Blog
Not just L.A., the city of angels is everywhere

*** The guy from the L.A. Times would only stay for five minutes into a hearing, then get up and leave because the Phil Spector murder trial was going on up the street, where reporters were not even allowed in the courtroom. Still the L.A. Times reporter believed that being one of hundreds of “journalists” waiting to write down the three or four words said into a microphone during breaks in the Phil Spector murder trial, and then reporting the exact same words as every news outlet in town, was more important than the thousand civil cases going through Superior Court in early 2007 about pedophile priests molesting thousands of children in the region. 

Personal Post Script: To this day I think I was kept alive through several scenarios in my life where I shouldhave ended up dead so that I would be in L.A. the year the month and the day that about a thousand lawsuits against the Archdiocese of Los Angeles were going through Superior Court and no other reporter was paying attention. 

I think I was kept alive to do this blog


And I'm still here.



-ke
.

Tuesday, July 17, 2018

D Trump and B Blaine

Trump's meeting with Putin yesterday with no one to witness it reminds me of when Barbara Blaine got arrested in Rome few years ago and was taken in to Vatican buildings with no one to witness it. Perhaps Covert Operatives arrange events like these so they are able to meet with their handlers, with no witnesses, to report and get new instructions. 

Thursday, March 29, 2018

Any time you mix sex with god, everyone gets fucked 

Friday, January 12, 2018

Most my babbling is going on here now:
Kay Ebeling 

Thursday, November 16, 2017

I am Not a victim, a pedophile priest just got to me.

Now if anyone asks, I say I'm a journalist who helped break a story that was controversial and took a lot of guff for it, it affected my career and my life. Still I stand behind the work I did, I know it was the right thing to do. 
If someone I meet then finds out the topic I covered was pedophile priests, it is like a litmus test. If they can't handle it, I don't want them as my friend, in fact I wonder about them. When they continue to be my friend, I know they are capable of complex thought and there is potential for a further friendship there. 
*
Yes I probably would have been more successful if that molestation by a priest hadn't happened but I don't really know that.
When I was five-six years old I was diddled by a priest and then everyone told me to stop talking about it. That may have driven me to be a journalist in the first place, because always inside I knew there was some injustice, some wrong thing, and I had to tell it to the world. Without that experience, I probably would be a grandmother now surrounded by children and experiencing holidays. But I also could have died of Some  Mundane and Ordinary Disease decades ago. 
I am not a victim. I'm a human being who went through a horrible experience and now I'm an old lady living in a difficult time in history with a tremendous amount of survival skills. I don't feel like a victim at all.
Life goes on, even after death. 

Also posted at CofA25 this same date
*
I am not sure, but pretty sure, that I never used the word "victim" to describe myself until I connected with SNAP. From the start in support groups they repeated, "You are not a victim, you are a survivor." Until that time, I wanted to be an activist.  In 1996 I was reaching out in San Francisco looking for others who’d had this experience to find others, to Take Action. 
I Know I started to use the word "survivor" after connecting with SNAP but to me even that word did not describe me. 
*
I never was a victim. A pedophile priest got to me. It happened, I'm still here, it affected me.  It was a felony and he and everyone who enabled all the pedophile priests should have been prosecuted. WTF. That aiding and abetting was the real crime. 

Monday, November 13, 2017

I heard another pundit salivate over details of an adult / teenage sex encounter, and I turned off the News for good

These stories are triggering the Fuck out of me, since Weinstein broke, bk there's nothing genuine about any of it. These stories were Placed in the news to have the desired effect they are having: Degrading Americans on the left and the right, filling our air waves with degrading stories of sick sex While the President is carrying on in ways that will permanently damage the USA forever.  We are wallowing in sexual shenanigans while our nation Goes Down and they set it up this way.  
For me this is a double whammy because 
I'm a pedophile priest victim who thanks to these stories is having all this horrible shit brought up all over again with a strange unsatisfying feeling as in, why is this happening this way now etc. 
Where were all these reporters when the priest stories came out?
On Top Of That I once was a newspaper editor, and I once worked with some really good PR people, so I can see what is happening here, to me it is so obvious:  The placement of the stories, the results the stories are getting. 
I feel like I"m in a sci-fi movie, watching my fellow human beings walk right into a trap that I can see but they can't so all I can do is watch. 
Somehow the two issues are connected
YES
I think that if the Vatican had responded with Justice to the pedophile priest victims, then the whole world would have gone a different direction. 
I feel like the final downfall of humanity started when the Pope decided to go corporate instead of admitting what happened with the priests and dealing with it with Justice and... humanity. 
It ain't fun taking this ride down, even though I'm in a good place here in Tahoe to maybe survive what is coming. 
I think there is a connection. I think all of them, God, Jesus, and whoever else is up there, were watching, indeed, even gave humans one last chance with the pedophile priest victims and HUMANS BLEW IT. (as a class not all of us) 
thank you for listening 

Saturday, November 11, 2017

If only the priests had been celebrities, 
then someone might have heard us.

Thursday, November 9, 2017

True Pedophile Priest Sex Crime Stories do not make the news, but today we know everything there is to know about Harvey Weinstein's penis

The Fact stories of pedophile priests were IGNORED but there are Details of Kevin Spacey touching a guy's butt in 1986 all over the internet shows how UNREAL today's news coverage is.
Meanwhile I am Proud of this work I did a few years back, publishing these stories, even though it got me so ostracized, abandoned in Appallacchia, and even poisoned at one point, but I can't prove it. (Honest at CofA 15 read the "spider bite" story.) Now I hide in the Sierras but I stand by this work.


(In every Archdiocese in every city, the pattern of crime is the same. There is more to the story of pedophile priests in the Catholic Chur...
CITYOFANGELS12.BLOGSPOT.COM

Sunday, May 21, 2017

Vatican Wide Open to Trump but pedo-priest victim can't get past front door

Interesting. Trump is about to get a special tour of The Vatican including St. Peter's Cathedral. I'm one of the pedophile priest victims and have not been able to even walk into a church for years without getting a knife-life stomach ache. Interesting that someone like Trump can rally right into the place...

Tuesday, May 9, 2017

Priest w AIDS raped 30 girls and "forgiven" by Church

Wonder what happened to the 30 girls:
this is the kind of stuff Catholic Church covered up last few years, using same tactics of deflection and disinformation that Russia is using now to keep Americans from finding out truth. I often wonder if some major international PR firm ran both projects...

Dan Ward shared a link to Pete Saracino's Timeline.
5 hrs


Catholic Church absolved priest after who faces no criminal charges for raping young girls under 10 - A Catholic Priest has been acquitted by the church after…
NEONNETTLE.COM|BY NEON NETTLE

Posted by Kay
Still Here 

Sunday, January 29, 2017

Wake Up

Kay Ebeling
1 min
To any pedophile priest survivor who is still in my Facebook Friends list, and is now tired of all this political stuff: Huh? Do you think any crimes like those of the Catholic Church will be exposed in a justice system run by Trump's people? WAKE UP

Wednesday, November 30, 2016

I am sick and will not be posting for a while.

Friday, October 28, 2016

Catholic Church leads downfall of civilization. Good morning

On Facebook this AM
if the catholic church had led the world and taken responsibility for its decades of crimes against children, it might have set the entire globe in a different direction, but instead the Pope on down chose to lie, manipulate information, defeat innocent people who protested. And now it seems the entire world is falling apart in very strange ways. Could there be a connection? Could the Church have changed everything by just being an example of truth and justice instead of corporate coverups in the name of greed? We'll never know.

-ke

Monday, October 17, 2016

Several perfect storms exposed pedophile priests

By Kay Ebeling - City of Angels

He was tall and thin and wore bow ties, and he was packing up his laptop to leave just as the hearing started.
While counsel for plaintiffs stood before the judge detailing obstruction of justice the Archdiocese carried out against pedophile priest victims, the court beat reporter from the L.A. Times was packing up to leave. And he was the only journalist there besides me. 
The judge said something like: “So the monsignor bumped into the priest who then scampered into the woods to hide, then a nine-year-old boy came out of the rectory with blood running down his legs, and now defendant will not produce the monsignor for deposition?” to which plaintiff’s attorney emphasized, “Yes, your honor.”
I grabbed the L.A. Times guy’s arm and asked, “Why are you leaving?”
“Phil Spector!” he stage whispered and scampered out of the courtroom to cover the celebrity murder trial up the street. ***
The Times reporter left with his two thousand dollar laptop and I stayed at the hearing, scribbling notes into a dime store notepad. Then came a perfect storm. 
Even the cheapest laptops cost a thousand dollars back then and I had been on unemployment for more than a year around the time of that hearing, because a writers' strike halted production. So at home all I had was a massive desktop with massive monitor. Then all of a sudden I went back to work and somehow Unemployment owed me a thousand dollars in back payments.  I didn't even know why.
So a check for a little more than a thousand dollars showed up in my mailbox.  I used the lump sum to buy a laptop and took it with me downtown to cover the L.A. Clergy Cases almost daily when I got off work. 
In those months I became the only news source covering most of the hearings while close to a thousand pedophile priest lawsuits against the Archdiocese of Los Angeles and San Diego went through L.A. Superior Court in 2007. 
-----
There were other perfect storms connected to production of City of Angels Blog, so many that for a while there, I really thought angelic intervention was making things happen. 
Actually I'm still not sure…  
It was a perfect storm connected to the other perfect storm that caused me to know how to do a blog in the first place. 

Earlier in 2006, I had tried to create one at blogger dot com and it was too difficult.  Then in December that year, Google purchased Blogger and created Blogspot with a dashboard that made blogging very easy.  Also, in 2006 all those TV production crews on strike were doing blogs, which I went to daily for updates.  They already knew how to post videos, live feeds of events, links to other blogs, and were going at it during the strike, and I soon became fascinated by how a blog could be a powerful tool as a means of communication.  
So, since Google created a new dashboard in late 2006,  I was able to create Cityof Angels Blog 3 in January 2007, with a laptop I got for being unemployed during the writers’ strike using techniques I learned from striking writers, And I started going to hearings in L.A. Superior Court downtown.

More perfect storms soon followed.

One afternoon after a hearing, the judge overheard me ask his clerk how to access the documents in all these lawsuits, and next day the clerk approached me to say, here is how to access the documents.  I followed his instructions, went in the little ground floor room with my laptop, which was loaded with transcription software (I do transcription for TV shows for  living). So I was able to copy at great speed the documents that had been filed in several of the 660 cases that remained in L.A. County, the San Diego cases having split to go south.
I really went to town in that little room  and even created the expression “document diving,” posting some really revealing information straight up to City of Angels Blog 3.  But within weeks the Superior Court media office decided to close off the room, and I was never able to access the documents again.  Soon the whole Clergy Case operation was moved to a courthouse in a different part of town that was hard for me to get to on the bus.  In order to to read the documents in that courthouse, one had to pay a good amount of dollars per page and have them printed.
So there was just that short period, that short perfect storm, several months at the most, where I was able to document dive and publish all kinds of documents exposing all kinds of crimes carried out by the Archbishop of Los Angeles in covering up the crimes of pedophile priests.
-----
In fact there are perfect storms connected to the entire breakthrough of the pedophile priest crime stories, going back to the nineteen eighties.
Personally, before 1994, I thought I had imagined the incident with Father Horne-y.  For years I believed that St. Michael the Archangel came to me in the woods when I was 5-6 years old and did this AMAZING thing to me with his fingers between my legs.  From that age on I was determined to share that wonderful thing with everyone I met and boy did I get in trouble.  My sexuality from age six to, well, the present got me ostracized, hated, kids weren’t allowed to play with me, wives were gunning for me after what I did with their husbands. To this day at age sixty eight, my sexuality is a problem in that I'm not able to take part at all.  Because until 1994 I was so dysfunctional, today I just don’t even try.
In 1994 I found out the incident with Father Horne (aka Father Horne-y) was not Michael the Archangel and was not my imagination, it really happened.  I learned through a phone conversation with a long estranged sister.  I found out Father Horne-y had gotten to her as well. 

Probably the most important perfect storm of them all:

In the 1990s, the home computer came out
Then the internet got connected to home computers
And I just happened to live in San Francisco where the dot com bubble was imploding and lots of small businesses were closing.  Therefore, I was able to buy a second hand computer cheap, like a hundred dollars.  The dot com businessman, desperate to liquidate and get out of town, even came over to our home in the Lower Haight to show me how to hook up to the internet.
That afternoon I went online and found other pedophile priest victims around the country.

In fact, in writing about this issue, there have been so many miracles, or perfect storms, or angelic interventions, that for a while there I started to think God arranged it all.
Arranged it so that right after the story came out on in the late 1980s On A Few TV Shows, This Very Democratic Communication Source had been invented, so that survivors could use it to keep evil powers from preventing release of the truth.
Okay, maybe I am going too far.
But think of it.
It makes sense  
As soon as the first survivor appeared on Oprah Winfrey, the church went to work creating a way to keep the mainstream world from finding out about these crimes in their entirety.
Thanks to the internet the church was not able to control the release of the story, at least not able to for that short period of time. 
Since the nineties, corporate and other powers have found ways to prevent information from being released as easily as it was when the World Wide Web first became available to civilians.
If survivors went online looking for other survivors today, most of what they’d find is corporate controlled websites. 
However, in those first years of the internet, the nineties through about 2010, the internet was just enough of a free for all to get past the powers of the Catholic Church and get out to the public at least some of the truth about the pedophile priests.
Enough of the story of this epidemic of crimes against children came out to show the guilt of the monsignors, bishops, and even popes.  How humans react to that information, not even God or any powers can control.

Another perfect storm in my story: 

There I was in 1994, bloated recovering from several addictions, in my mid forties, fifty pounds overweight, going to A-A meetings finally sober for more than two years, when I started remembering things and made that phone call to my sister. That was was another part of the perfect storm for me. I was sober for the first time in my life so able to think things through enough to call my sister. Almost all my life I've been estranged  from my sister, and today am estranged from her again. But that one day in 1994 I was talking to her, and I called her to ask, did anything ever happen to you with Father Horne when you were little.
And she said, Oh no, he got to you too?
And my life changed.
And it's still changing.
With that phone call, I knew I was not born a slut, but an evil priest had put those compulsions inside me, probably not even knowing that by finger banging me at age five there under the trees, he turned me into a rabid sex fiend who spent the next four decades determined to show everyone this wonderful thing he showed me.
Yes, a little dalliance on the part of a perverted priest with a little girl created a whore who destroyed families everywhere she went from puberty until depletion.
There I was at age forty-five in 1994 clean and sober for the first time in my life, my daughter turning age five, the age I was when the molestation took place. I was feeling so guilty in those days wondering why I did the things I did. And then with Oprah Winfrey and a phone call to my sister, I suddenly had an explanation.
And a home computer and a man who hooked me up to the internet for the first time
All for the first time ever. All in a few months time.
In the early nineties, I went online searching for other persons who’d been molested by Catholic priests and found the first chat rooms, called a “listservs.” As a public service, universities let ordinary people use their newly installed internet servers to communicate, sharing this wonderful democratic new communication tool.  I found a listserv for pedophile priest victims who were members of a group called The Linkup and started chatting every night as addicted then as people get now when they first get online.

A series of perfect storms. 

Today everything on the internet seems to be corporate managed and the small voices are barely heard, except for within small groups of other small voices.  However, in the 1990s, we were able to get some great things done during that one small window of time, that perfect storm.
Without the internet, pedophile priests probably would still be free to do what they want and the bishops would still be hiding them. For centuries, the church was able to hide these crimes and act astonished when victims came forward in one city after another, insisting it was an isolated case that never happens ever anywhere else in the church.
Could be that God, or The Arranger, Creator, Goddess, whatever, knew there would be this one short fast opportunity to get out the truth, get past the powers, and get as much of the truth out as possible before the powers took control again.
The internet is not the democratic sharing free-for-all it was in the nineteen nineties.
For that short period, we slipped past the guards and found each other through this tool, then used this tool to make it so public that the church could no longer deny the pedophile priest crimes. They diverted our attention, pointed at other places, “Public school teachers do it, Baptists do it!” but the truth still came out.
So is it that weird to think God or some Higher Power arranged for the internet and home computer to come out just after television shows about the crimes, so humans, at least a few of us, would grab hold of those tools and get past the guards and expose these crimes?
I don't think so.

Posted by Kay Ebeling
Producer, City of Angels Blog
Not just L.A., the city of angels is everywhere

*** The guy from the L.A. Times would only stay for five minutes into a hearing, then get up and leave because the Phil Spector murder trial was going on up the street, where reporters were not even allowed in the courtroom. Still the L.A. Times reporter believed that being one of hundreds of “journalists” waiting to write down the three or four words said into a microphone during breaks in the Phil Spector murder trial, and then reporting the exact same words as every news outlet in town, was more important than the thousand civil cases going through Superior Court in early 2007 about pedophile priests molesting thousands of children in the region. 

Personal Post Script: To this day I think I was kept alive through several scenarios in my life where I shouldhave ended up dead so that I would be in L.A. the year the month and the day that about a thousand lawsuits against the Archdiocese of Los Angeles were going through Superior Court and no other reporter was paying attention. 

I think I was kept alive to do this blog


And I'm still here.



-ke
.