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viral videos 2
Mirror of Old SNAP message board
You can still read the SNAP message board from 2002-2008 at http://snapsurvivorsnetwork.yuku.com/directory although SNAP decomissioned it in 2010 . Link is to the mirror site that remains online after the site has been taken down... love the Internet.
Now if anyone asks, I say I'm a journalist who helped break a story that was controversial and took a lot of guff for it, it affected my career and my life. Still I stand behind the work I did, I know it was the right thing to do.
If someone I meet then finds out the topic I covered was pedophile priests, it is like a litmus test. If they can't handle it, I don't want them as my friend, in fact I wonder about them. When they continue to be my friend, I know they are capable of complex thought and there is potential for a further friendship there.
Yes I probably would have been more successful if it hadn't happened but I don't really know that.
When I was five-six years old I was diddled by a priest and then everyone told me to stop talking about it. That may have driven me to be a journalist in the first place, because always inside I knew there was some injustice, some wrong thing, and I had to tell it to the world. Without that experience, I probably would be a grandmother now surrounded by children and experiencing holidays. But I also could have died of Some Mundane and Ordinary Disease decades ago.
I am not a victim. I'm a human being who went through a horrible experience and now I'm an old lady living in a difficult time in history with a tremendous amount of survival skills. I don't feel like a victim at all.
Life goes on, even after death. Also posted at CofA25 this same date *
I am not sure, but pretty sure, that I never used the word "victim" to describe myself until I connected with SNAP. From the start in support groups they repeated, "You are not a victim, you are a survivor."Until that time, I wanted to be an activist. In 1996 I was reaching out in San Francisco looking for others who’d had this experience to find others, to Take Action.
I Know I started to use the word "survivor" after connecting with SNAP but to me even that word did not describe me.
I never was a victim. A pedophile priest got to me. It happened, I'm still here, it affected me. It was a felony and he and everyone who enabled all the pedophile priests should have been prosecuted. WTF. That aiding and abetting was the real crime.
These stories are triggering the Fuck out of me, since Weinstein broke, bk there's nothing genuine about any of it. These stories were Placed in the news to have the desired effect they are having: Degrading Americans on the left and the right, filling our air waves with degrading stories of sick sex While the President is carrying on in ways that will permanently damage the USA forever. We are wallowing in sexual shenanigans while our nation Goes Down and they set it up this way.
For me this is a double whammy because
I'm a pedophile priest victim who thanks to these stories is having all this horrible shit brought up all over again with a strange unsatisfying feeling as in, why is this happening this way now etc.
Where were all these reporters when the priest stories came out?
On Top Of That I once was a newspaper editor, and I once worked with some really good PR people, so I can see what is happening here, to me it is so obvious: The placement of the stories, the results the stories are getting.
I feel like I"m in a sci-fi movie, watching my fellow human beings walk right into a trap that I can see but they can't so all I can do is watch.
Somehow the two issues are connected
I think that if the Vatican had responded with Justice to the pedophile priest victims, then the whole world would have gone a different direction.
I feel like the final downfall of humanity started when the Pope decided to go corporate instead of admitting what happened with the priests and dealing with it with Justice and... humanity.
It ain't fun taking this ride down, even though I'm in a good place here in Tahoe to maybe survive what is coming.
I think there is a connection. I think all of them, God, Jesus, and whoever else is up there, were watching, indeed, even gave humans one last chance with the pedophile priest victims and HUMANS BLEW IT. (as a class not all of us)
The Fact stories of pedophile priests were IGNORED but there are Details of Kevin Spacey touching a guy's butt in 1986 all over the internet shows how UNREAL today's news coverage is.
Meanwhile I am Proud of this work I did a few years back, publishing these stories, even though it got me so ostracized, abandoned in Appallacchia, and even poisoned at one point, but I can't prove it. (Honest at CofA 15 read the "spider bite" story.) Now I hide in the Sierras but I stand by this work.
Interesting. Trump is about to get a special tour of The Vatican including St. Peter's Cathedral. I'm one of the pedophile priest victims and have not been able to even walk into a church for years without getting a knife-life stomach ache. Interesting that someone like Trump can rally right into the place...
this is the kind of stuff Catholic Church covered up last few years, using same tactics of deflection and disinformation that Russia is using now to keep Americans from finding out truth. I often wonder if some major international PR firm ran both projects...
To any pedophile priest survivor who is still in my Facebook Friends list, and is now tired of all this political stuff: Huh? Do you think any crimes like those of the Catholic Church will be exposed in a justice system run by Trump's people? WAKE UP
if the catholic church had led the world and taken responsibility for its decades of crimes against children, it might have set the entire globe in a different direction, but instead the Pope on down chose to lie, manipulate information, defeat innocent people who protested. And now it seems the entire world is falling apart in very strange ways. Could there be a connection? Could the Church have changed everything by just being an example of truth and justice instead of corporate coverups in the name of greed? We'll never know.
He was tall and thin and
wore bow ties, and he was packing up his laptop to leave just as the hearing
While counsel for
plaintiffs stood before the judge detailing obstruction of justice the
Archdiocese carried out against pedophile priest victims, the court beat
reporter from the L.A. Times was packing up to leave. And he was the only
journalist there besides me.
The judge said something
like: “So the monsignor bumped into the priest who then scampered into the woods to
hide, then a nine-year-old boy came out of the rectory with blood running down
his legs, and now defendant will not produce the monsignor for deposition?” to
which plaintiff’s attorney emphasized, “Yes, your honor.”
I grabbed the L.A. Times guy’s
arm and asked, “Why are you leaving?”
“Phil Spector!” he stage
whispered and scampered out of the courtroom to cover the celebrity murder trial up the street. ***
The Times reporter left
with his two thousand dollar laptop and I stayed at the hearing, scribbling notes into a dime store
notepad. Then came a perfect storm. Even the cheapest laptops cost a
thousand dollars back then and I had been on unemployment for more than a year around the time of that hearing, in part due to a writers' strike. So at home all I had was a massive desktop with massive monitor. Then all of a sudden I went back to work
and somehow Unemployment owed me a thousand dollars in back payments. I didn't even know why.
So a check
for a little more than a thousand dollars showed up in my mailbox. I used the lump sum to buy a laptop and took it with me downtown to cover the L.A. Clergy Cases almost daily when I got off
In those months I became
the only news source covering most of the hearings while close to a thousand
pedophile priest lawsuits against the Archdiocese of Los Angeles and San Diego
went through L.A. Superior Court in 2007.
There were other perfect
storms connected to production of City of Angels Blog, so many that for a while
there, I really thought angelic intervention was making things happen. Actually
I'm still not sure…
It was a perfect storm
connected to the other perfect storm that caused me to know how to do a blog in
the first place.
Earlier in 2006, I had tried to create one at blogger dot com and it was too difficult. Then in December that year, Google purchased
Blogger and created Blogspot with a dashboard that made blogging very easy. Also, in 2006 all those TV production
crews on strike were doing blogs, which I went to daily for updates. They already knew how to post videos, live feeds of events, links to other blogs, and were going at it during the strike, and I soon
became fascinated by how a blog could be a powerful tool as a means of
So, since Google created a new dashboard in late 2006, I was able to create Cityof Angels Blog 3in January 2007, with a laptop I got for being unemployed during the writers’
strike using techniques I learned from striking writers, And I started going to hearings
in L.A. Superior Court downtown.
More perfect storms soon
One afternoon after a hearing, the judge overheard
me ask his clerk how to access the documents in all these lawsuits, and next
day the clerk approached me to say, here is how to access the documents. I followed his instructions, went in the
little ground floor room with my laptop, which was loaded with transcription software (I do transcription for TV shows for living). So I was able to copy at great speed the documents that had been filed in several of
the 660 cases that remained in L.A. County, the San Diego cases having split to
I really went to town in
that little room and even created the
expression “document diving,” posting some really revealing information
straight up to City of Angels Blog 3.
But within weeks the Superior Court media office decided to close off the
room, and I was never able to access the documents again. Soon the whole Clergy Case operation was
moved to a courthouse in a different part of town that was hard for me to get
to on the bus. In order to to read the
documents in that courthouse, one had to pay a good amount of dollars per page
and have them printed.
So there was just that
short period, that short perfect storm, several months at the most, where I was
able to document dive and publish all kinds of documents exposing all kinds of
crimes carried out by the Archbishop of Los Angeles in covering up the crimes
of pedophile priests.
In fact there are perfect storms connected to the
entire breakthrough of the pedophile priest crime stories, going back to the
Personally, before 1994,
I thought I had imagined the incident with Father Horne-y. For years I believed that St. Michael the
Archangel came to me in the woods when I was 5-6 years old and did this AMAZING
thing to me with his fingers between my legs.
From that age on I was determined to share that wonderful thing with
everyone I met and boy did I get in trouble.
My sexuality from age six to, well, the present got me ostracized,
hated, kids weren’t allowed to play with me, wives were gunning for me after
what I did with their husbands. To this day at age sixty eight, my sexuality is
a problem in that I'm not able to take part at all. Because until 1994 I was so dysfunctional,
today I just don’t even try.
In 1994 I found out the
incident with Father Horne (aka Father Horne-y) was not Michael the Archangel and was not my imagination, it really happened. I learned through a phone conversation
with a long estranged sister. I found
out Father Horne-y had gotten to her as well.
Probably the most important
perfect storm of them all:
In the 1990s, the home computer
Then the internet got
connected to home computers
And I just happened to
live in San Francisco where the dot com bubble was imploding and lots of small businesses
were closing. Therefore, I was able to
buy a second hand computer cheap, like a hundred dollars. The dot com businessman, desperate to
liquidate and get out of town, even came over to our home in the Lower Haight to
show me how to hook up to the internet.
That afternoon I went
online and found other pedophile priest victims around the country.
In fact, in writing about
this issue, there have been so many miracles, or perfect storms, or angelic
interventions, that for a while there I started to think God arranged it all.
Arranged it so that right
after the story came out on in the late 1980s On A Few TV Shows, This Very
Democratic Communication Source had been invented, so that survivors could use it
to keep evil powers from preventing release of the truth.
Okay, maybe I am going
But think of it.
It makes sense
As soon as the first
survivor appeared on Oprah Winfrey, the church went to work creating a way to
keep the mainstream world from finding out about these crimes in their
Thanks to the internet
the church was not able to control the release of the story, at least not able
to for that short period of time.
Since the nineties,
corporate and other powers have found ways to prevent information from being
released as easily as it was when the World Wide Web first became available to
If survivors went online
looking for other survivors today, most of what they’d find is corporate
However, in those first
years of the internet, the nineties through about 2010, the internet was just
enough of a free for all to get past the powers of the Catholic Church and get out
to the public at least some of the truth about the pedophile priests.
Enough of the story of
this epidemic of crimes against children came out to show the guilt of the
monsignors, bishops, and even popes. How
humans react to that information, not even God or any powers can control.
Another perfect storm in
my story: There I was in 1994, bloated recovering from several addictions, in
my mid forties, fifty pounds overweight, going to A-A meetings finally sober
for more than two years, when I started remembering things and made that phone
call to my sister. That was was another part of the perfect storm for me. I was
sober for the first time in my life so able to think things through enough to
call my sister. Almost all my life I've been estranged from my sister, and today am estranged from
her again. But that one day in 1994 I was talking to her, and I called her to
ask, did anything ever happen to you with Father Horne when you were little.
And she said, Oh no, he
got to you too?
And my life changed.
And it's still changing.
With that phone call, I
knew I was not born a slut, but an evil priest had put those compulsions inside
me, probably not even knowing that by finger banging me at age five there under
the trees, he turned me into a rabid sex fiend who spent the next four decades
determined to show everyone this wonderful thing he showed me.
Yes, a little dalliance
on the part of a perverted priest with a little girl created a whore who
destroyed families everywhere she went from puberty until depletion.
There I was at age
forty-five in 1994 clean and sober for the first time in my life, my daughter turning
age five, the age I was when the molestation took place. I was feeling so
guilty in those days wondering why I did the things I did. And then with Oprah
Winfrey and a phone call to my sister, I suddenly had an explanation.
And a home computer and a
man who hooked me up to the internet for the first time
All for the first time
ever. All in a few months time.
In the early nineties, I
went online searching for other persons who’d been molested by Catholic priests
and found the first chat rooms, called a “listservs.” As a public service,
universities let ordinary people use their newly installed internet servers to
communicate, sharing this wonderful democratic new communication tool. I found a listserv for pedophile priest
victims who were members of a group called The Linkup and started chatting
every night as addicted then as people get now when they first get online.
A series of
Today everything on the
internet seems to be corporate managed and the small voices are barely heard, except
for within small groups of other small voices.
However, in the 1990s, we were able to get some great things done during
that one small window of time, that perfect storm.
Without the internet, pedophile
priests probably would still be free to do what they want and the bishops would
still be hiding them. For centuries, the church was able to hide these crimes
and act astonished when victims came forward in one city after another,
insisting it was an isolated case that never happens ever anywhere else in the
Could be that God, or The
Arranger, Creator, Goddess, whatever, knew there would be this one short fast
opportunity to get out the truth, get past the powers, and get as much of the
truth out as possible before the powers took control again.
The internet is not the
democratic sharing free-for-all it was in the nineteen nineties.
For that short period, we
slipped past the guards and found each other through this tool, then used this
tool to make it so public that the church could no longer deny the pedophile
priest crimes. They diverted our attention, pointed at other places, “Public school teachers do it, Baptists do it!” but the truth still came out.
So is it that weird to
think God or some Higher Power arranged for the internet and home computer to
come out just after television shows about the crimes, so humans, at least a
few of us, would grab hold of those tools and get past the guards and expose
I don't think so.
Kay Ebeling Producer, City of Angels Blog Not just L.A., the city of angels is
*** The guy from the L.A.
Times would only stay for five minutes into a hearing, then get up and leave
because the Phil Spector murder trial was going on up the street, where reporters
were not even allowed in the courtroom. Still the L.A. Times reporter believed that being
one of hundreds of “journalists” waiting to write down the three or four words
said into a microphone during breaks in the Phil Spector murder trial, and then
reporting the exact same words as every news outlet in town, was more important
than the thousand civil cases going through Superior Court in early 2007 about
pedophile priests molesting thousands of children in the region.
Personal Post Script: To this day
I think I was kept alive through several scenarios in my life where I shouldhave ended up dead so that I would be in L.A. the year the month and the day
that about a thousand lawsuits against the Archdiocese of Los Angeles were
going through Superior Court and no other reporter was paying attention.
"There was something going on that was not familiar
American territory about dealing with tragedy. There were things about that day that you weren’t supposed to say, you weren’t supposed to see." – Tom Junot, The Falling Man
I've seen the mentality to which Junot refers in the
pedophile priest crisis, and as a result we get news like this:
Vincent Nichols wants to ban employers asking about criminal records - Tue 06 Sep 2016 By Antony Bushfield - The leader of Catholics in England and Wales
says employers should not be allowed to ask about a person's criminal record on
a job application form. Normally applications require a declaration of
any past dealings with police but Cardinal Vincent Nichols said people should
not be compelled to disclose their conviction. Speaking at the Conference of Prison
Chaplains, he said stopping the practice would allow convicts to "put
their past in context and show who they really are. It is hard to envisage the crushing
disappointment of someone who has worked hard to move away from crime and learn
new skills, only to be rejected for job after job and never even given the
opportunity to explain how he or she has changed since being convicted years
before. (Read the entire story here at Premier UK.)
The British Cardinal delivers a wonderful well-timed,
compassionate argument but-
Did any reporter ask the Cardinal if pedophile
priests are included in his advocacy for recovering criminals?
In the USA we have not been willing to "show who we really are," as the Cardinal says, for decades. Instead we think if we act like something
is not there, it will go away, an attitude that was blatant in the pedophile priest crisis. I think this refusal to admit our wrongs and make
amends is at the root of all America’s problems, the whole country needs
to learn from a program that works and do the Fourth Step all the way to the Ninth Step, starting with the Catholic Church.
Journalist Tom Junot talks about this phenomenon of not facing
the truth in The Falling Man documentary from 2006.
In the film we see that as the Twin Towers burned, people
were jumping out of the buildings, an image that few of us can forget who
watched that day. But as shown in the film,
when Junot tried to write about the people who were in the images, no one
wanted to talk about the people who jumped, or even admit the jumping happened.
This is dialogue from the film:
Junot: I never saw that picture again.
Narrator: Newspapers and magazines decided not to run
it again. No one wanted to confront the
existence of the jumpers. Americans had
recoiled from the falling man, but now pictures of heroes were something people
could celebrate and rally around.
Junot: The images that lasted are in the most case heroic
pictures. There was a spin that came out
of our feeling of being so deeply wounded which was that we're Americans… the
American spirit shall prevail. Whereas Richard Drew’s picture, the Falling
Man picture became for whatever reason
the one that nobody wanted to look at.
Narrator: But Tom Junot decided to investigate why the
jumpers had been air brushed from the day.
Junot: The coroner said nobody jumped that day. They
were blown out, they were forced out, we don’t say that they jumped, nobody
jumped. That just made me feel that there
was just something going on that was not familiar American territory about
dealing with tragedy. . . . There were just things about that day that you weren’t supposed to say, you weren’t supposed to see, you weren’t supposed
to talk about and for me that resistance wound up centering on and attaching itself
to Richard Drew’s picture.
(From Falling Man, the documentary released in 2006)
The same thing happened when Nancy Pelosi first took
the gavel as Speaker of the House in 2007. First words out of her mouth were
“Impeachment is off the table.” We never faced the war crimes of the Bush Administration and today we are still embroiled in the Middle East and those Bushwacko war criminals are still calling the shots.
The U.S. is not going to recover until we stop
pretending we can vibe our problems away. Thinking good thoughts to make everything all right does not work. There's a defeated sense in the land, where we don’t want
to look at crime if it is at such a high level that
prosecution will be. . . work.
Globally the Roman Catholic Church protected thousands
of priests who were molesting children, and aided and abetted their crimes, with
the same pattern of criminal activity and cover-up in countries all over the
And yet Catholic Church hierarchy are the people
we have advising us on morals and civil behavior? If so, then the Church should lead the way and start admitting it aided and abetted pedophile priests, tell "the exact nature of its wrongs" per the Twelve Steps as opposed to deflective media events, then start making amends. Globally. Maybe then the rest of the world will follow.
If SNAP were real, there would have been events all
over the country to coincide with release of the film Spotlight.
Gotta hand it to SNAP, their scheme was unique and it worked. When I talk to mainstream Americans, I find that no one knows what happened with the pedophile priests except for the people involved in the crisis. SNAP managed to
control release of the story as it broke from one city to another and, looking back
on it, whatever CIA type spook who came up with this plan, it’s creative, it’s information
management right out of what people think NASA does but it doesn't One extremely effective technique used by Survivors Network of those Abused by Priests was, in every city, gathering all the contact information and keeping it from anyone else in the
Wherever the story broke about pedophile priests, from
2002 to today, SNAP would show up, traveling all over the world on short notice.
What I witnessed was, SNAP flew in, became “in charge”
of whatever media events were taking place,
SNAP got all the media contact information from that new area where the story
was breaking. SNAP also got all the contact information of new survivors.
Then SNAP would fly away and take all the contact information
with them. After a few years, SNAP became the organization every news person called. It was always a new reporter who did not realize the SNAP spokesperson was saying the exact same phrases they'd been saying for ten years, and nothing more. Even the local regional SNAP leaders
were not given access to media and new survivor information, Blaine Clohessy and Dorris kept all that.
And never shared it.
As a result SNAP sent out all the press releases even
if it was about a local story or media event. And they were really
awful press releases with incorrect information and wrong addresses, times off by a few hours, etcetera,
really bizarre. *****
As a result when a major event such as the release of
the film Spotlight took place, the local SNAP leaders did not have press or
local survivor contact information, it was all up to national SNAP to run any kind
And SNAP did nothing. SNAP was poised, with local branches in something like ninety cities around the country. And they did nothing.
The biggest most obvious proof that SNAP is not really
a survivor organization working for survivors, but is really working for someone else, is the lack of response to the film Spotlight.
There should have used those local SNAP branches to hold press conferences and media events events in every one of those
cities to coincide with the opening of Spotllight.
Instead the only public event for survivors connected
to the film was Barbara Blaine smiling at the cameras on Oscar night from a café
around the corner from the Kodak Theater.
The scam that is SNAP is, to me, the biggest part of the pedophile
priest story, because SNAP prevented the story from breaking the way it would, without their damage control. Now all those pervert priests are still in communities around the world, all the bishops
who enabled them and profited from covering up their crimes are continuing to run what can’t be a legitimate
religion as long as they are in charge. This is fraud at an extremely
high level. Somewhere in David Clohessy’s basement in St. Louis is the truth about
all this, although by now any evidence is probably hidden pretty well. But ask any victim who used to be active with SNAP and then quit (there are thousands of us by now). We know the truth, but reporters, on tight time and cash budgets, always seem to go to no one but SNAP and the people SNAP sends them to, usually a newcomer who has not yet figured out the scam, to ask questions. That Is Not Journalism. Since American reporters don’t have beats, since the powerful own
the media today- reporters just report what is said at press conferences, no one has the resources to dig into this part of the story.
They got away with it.
The Catholic Church got away with thousands of pedophile
priests raping hundreds of thousands of children MAINLY because the crime victims / "survivors" were
not able to organize and conduct any kind of realistic advocacy to publicize our stories, because SNAP stood in the way in every city where the story
They were working for
the church all along. -ke If SNAP were real, this blog would have been incorporated, along with blogs by other survivors, into a network of information. There are hundreds of things SNAP could have been doing past twenty years, and all they did was suck up contact information while putting three or four people in the news, then disappear. We got screwed by a priest as a kid, by the church when we tried to get help, then by our own "support group" who just showed up in the middle of an already developing movement and took it over. Damage control POST NOTE: Since the first few scenes of Spotlight are full of "product placement" for SNAP in lines of dialogue mentioning the group, I wonder if the producers were expecting SNAP to produce events to help publicize the film, using SNAP's national resources. I'd love to know the true story of what happened there. hmm If nothing else, silence around Spotlight was a Blatant Missed Opportunity for survivors to get out our stories to a much larger audience. But Blaine did tweet and retweet through the Oscars . . . to people who are already onboard. No one else hears about the advocacy but the other advocates. It would be a study in Communications Control to see how they kept the survivor movement so insular. hmm Posted by Kay Ebeling Producer City of Angels Blog since 2007 responding to nudges from angels still today -ke