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Monday, June 24, 2019

I find my inability to trust anyone a problem. However

I have started a new fantasy to get me through:
I am a  galactic anthropologist who spends one lifetime after another traveling to different planets and planes at times of crisis to observe, then report back.  I came to Earth in 1948 to live through this time of high crime and corruption.
I plan to report that the pedophile priest crimes coming out in late twentieth century was one last chance for humankind, and the Vatican blew it. 
Because I am on a galactic mission, nothing fazes me. When I die and leave the planet, I will report back... then my colleagues and i will watch together as this peculiar human species likely self destructs. Then I'll go somewhere else. 
If I live my fantasy of being an "eternal journalist" from another part of the galaxy, just here on assignment, nothing else, I'm not part of all this crazy earthly stuff anymore.
I was on assignment when I landed in Superior Court downtown L.A. in Jan 2007 and started CofA Blog about these crimes among other things. My peculiar billet also landed me in the middle of the anti-war movement and counter culture 1960s-70s, at NASA in years up to first Space Shuttle, at a PR firm in Beverly Hills repping movie stars as a kind of dalliance, and then in the "Movement" of pedophile priest victims.  I have a lot to say when I get back to HQ. 
As long as I live in this fantasy, I don't care about any of the insane things humans do, or take it personally, or even want to change it. I'm just a reporter... and who knows, maybe my "assignment" is not imagination, maybe it's my awakening.