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Monday, September 23, 2013

What's Up

I can't publish the blog right now. I've said for years, they were fucking with my life. Whatever all they did, the end result is I am Scared, Timid, Intimidated, Disgusted, Discouraged and Unable to produce anymore at CofA blog. It makes no sense, I should feel the opposite, empowered, motivated, but I swear the bishops, or Chicago Archdiocese attorneys, orchestrated this sequence of events in my personal life and the totality of it all resulted in me saying, I cannot do this anymore. I can't write my own story as they have made me doubt the details. I can't write other people's stories as I've come to suspect everyone. A bunch of weird shit happened in my life bk of the blog, and for now, THAT'S what I need to sort out. But meantime, my fingers Will Not Push Publish right now and I have to just trust my gut. Go stand still in the desert for a while and see what comes up. The entire CofA Blog experience came from the same place in my gut that this immobility is coming from now. I kind of Know how they did it but right now I'm not sure who was my friend in all this and who had been planted in my life. Yes, people were planted in my life and they made this shit happen that de-motivated me. The weird shit started about 2 years after I started the blog, summer 2008, and when I would not go away, the weird shit became worse, and then in Chicago last year, they got to me in such a mean way, I swear they were trying to get me to commit suicide. I didn't but They Made Me Stop the Blog and I can't figure out how to bypass the obstructions they put inside me to get going again. So, meanwhile, love reading everyone else's blogs... just, bloggers, watch your back

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